Beginning to See the Circle of Life

When I was growing up, we always visited my maternal grandparents. They did not have a lot of material things or formal education, but they made their way through life with perseverance and hard work. My grandfather had a host of health problems and my grandmother did as well. However, I don't ever remember hearing either of them complain. They enjoyed the little things (which to them were big things), like fishing, baking, going out to look at deer, and visiting with family. Red Oak, Iowa was my favorite place to go growing up and I believe that my brother and sister felt the same. It was a place where we did not have to be anything but ourselves. It was a small house, but the treasures inside were immense. It was never as "clean" as our house at home, but it was comfortable and certainly outside appearances were the last thing on anyone's mind.

 Fast forward about 40 years to my own home. I am now in my 50's and although I have no married children or grandchildren, I had an "aha" moment while looking around my home. I have been blessed with a large home, an education and good health. However, I want my home to be just like my grandparents. I know when my daughter came home for a visit with her boyfriend she did not quite think our house met up with her cleanliness standards, but I also noticed that they both felt comfortable lounging on the couch and helping themselves in the kitchen without feeling uncomfortable. This is what I want to replicate. It would be nice to be thought of as an organized mother with a beautiful and well-kept home and sometimes I get rather down on myself for not being on top of things all the time. Then I recall the warmth, and the acceptance of my grandparents, who spent less time worrying about their surroundings and more time focusing on their relationships. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa for once more extending your love and acceptance to me from beyond the grave.

My Grandparents with all their grandkids

My grandparents with my brother

The Abraham family (the little girl is my mom)

Botox for an 11 year old

You heard it right. My 11 year old has to have his esophagus widened and they are going to use Botox injections to try and keep it open. After two years on an experimental medication, Zachary's last endoscopy indicated that he was only being partially treated for Eosinophilic Esophagitis. He had to discontinue the study medicine and go back on Flovent. The furrows on his esophagus had lengthened and this was causing Zachary to have difficulty swallowing. Although we are seeing an allergist and have tried an elimination diet and high doses of Singulair, his symptoms remain unchanged

At 69 pounds, we have to find a way to get nutrition into my little guy. This is the last step before a feeding tube has to be inserted. The sad situation is that Zachary is so tired of the pain of eating, he wants a feeding tube. The Botox surgery is Friday morning at St. Luke's Presbyterian Hospital for Children in Denver, Colorado.

Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA)

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that my 18 year old daughter, who underwent hip dislocation surgery in June, would end up with osteomyelitis due to Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA). Two weeks after returning home from what we thought was a successful surgical intervention, we noticed pus coming out of the 12 inch scar on her hip. I looked at it and immediately felt anxiety and panic. After being admitted to Children's Hospital in Denver and being diagnosed with MRSA (after her scar was surgically opened, cleaned and cultured), it was discovered that MRSA was also in her lower spine, causing numbness and partial paralysis to her left leg.

Our family has been through the wringer with allergy and autoimmune related symptoms, but I did not believe I would have to watch a second child fight a life threatening illness. In my mind, everything we went through with Joshua when he was a baby, was our quota of stress and medically related trauma. I guess life does not work that way. The good news is that I am writing this after the worst is over and Michelle is continuing to improve every day.

Michelle spent two weeks in the hospital on Morphine, intravenous (IV) antibiotics, and neurological medication. She then came home to another week of IV antibiotics through a PICC line, weekly blood tests and doctor visits in Denver, Colorado (about 60 minutes away from where we live), three serious allergic reactions to antibiotics and finally relief after working with an immunologist. She is now stable and has gone to the university as planned, on the antibiotic Doxycylcine. She is on three different allergy medications,and receives weekly blood tests through the local medical center.

Believe it or not, many families face multiple children with medical emergencies more frequently than our family. I just want to give some friendly advice on what not to say to anyone in a family who happens to have more than one member experiencing medical difficulties.

"Your family really has a lot of problems, if it is not one child it is another," is not a sympathetic or helpful response.

"It seems like you guys are always sick!" is another unhelpful response.

I have had both friends and family members make insensitive comments similar to this. Although, I believe that the comment itself is meant to be sympathetic, truthfully, it hurts. I know that I get to the point where I am embarrassed by the health problems we face and I wonder if other parents going through similar situations feel the same way also. Then I realize that nobody has asked for this, it is what we have been given. Then I try to think of appropriate responses.

"Yes, our family is susceptible to allergies, you are lucky that you and your family have such good health."

A second response could be, "How fortunate that you and your family have not had to encounter health problems yet."

The fact is that in a life span of approximately 80 to 100 years, a majority of people will face some type of medical emergency or trauma to them-self or a family member. They, like myself, will probably appreciate kindness and understanding, not a judgment on their inability to prevent the unpreventable.

Many people were very supportive and helpful in our particular situation: my cousin picked up my 16 year old so that he could attend his great grandparents' 75th wedding anniversary; my parents called and sent balloons to Michelle and also took care of David at the reunion; my sister came out and stayed for a week to help the rest of my family; and the family we have in town filled in all the cracks with my other three children so they could go on with their daily lives, thus allowing my husband to continue working so that we could afford health care.

Unfortunately, bacterial infections like MRSA are becoming very common and prey upon the young, the old and people with compromised immune systems. It is very painful and difficult infection to recover from, no matter how strong and healthy the individual. This is one of those "risks" of surgeries that people now have to face and sadly, it is no longer a rare risk. The chances of coming across a person or family affected by this type of health problem is pretty high. Think carefully about what words you use to sympathize because what you say and do does make an impact. Thoughtful words and actions are like a balm in the dessert.

For information on MRSA:

http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/understanding-mrsa-methicillin-resistant-staphylococcus-aureus

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/mrsa/DS00735

Support Groups

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Methicillin-Resistant-Staphylococcus-Aureus/support-group

http://mrsasupportgroup.org/

http://www.mrsaresources.com/mrsa-support-groups/

Zach at Camp Patiya

Zach at Camp Patiya
Originally uploaded by kbm697

This has been a crazy summer and it is only the end of June, 2010. Not only did my 18 year old graduate from high school, but she had to have major surgery on her hip. My parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary two weeks after Michelle's graduation and two weeks before her surgery. However, since I have four children...life goes on. Zachary left this weekend with his Dad to go camping at Camp Patiya (on Flagstaff Mountain near Boulder). This was through his Boy Scout Troop 81 and just his patrol, the Cobra's.
Meanwhile, I am at home catching up with laundry and yard work.

Why is making dinner such a trial?

This one is for you Jeff, I know I left a cliff-hanger about how my new attempt at Swedish rye bread turned out. I think it turned out well as the entire loaf has now been eaten. I still have the second loaf in the outside refrigerator awaiting your return from California. It had a nice texture, although it still did not rise as high as I would have liked. This time I definitely cooked it long enough.

The same day I repeated my Swedish rye bread experiment, I became very brave and decided to make my boys' favorite Chinese food for dinner. The outcome was horrible. Of course Jeff liked my orange chicken, lo mein noodles and rice (he is always very supportive of my attempts to try new foods) but the boys did not like the end result because it tasted nothing like Panda Express.

This is my ongoing problem with dinner. The kids are tired of the same old thing, but they don't like anything new! I am slowly adding variety to my dinner menu, but I am impatient. Hits this week have been broccoli and cheese soup, and barbecued ribs (bone in) with mashed potatoes. Tonight it is chicken noodle soup as Michelle has been sick and will be able to keep it down.

I have found the best way for me to motivate myself to make a nice dinner is to begin in the morning. If I wait until the afternoon, which is my low point in the day, I have a hard time planning and following through with cooking.

Happy Cooking!

Swedish Rye Bread (recipe mid-post)

My daughter, Michelle, came home from a diving meet the other day and was describing her new friend, a German exchange student. Her friend could not understand America's obsession with sharing that they are a quarter German or a half Swedish. In Germany, you are just German.

I thought long and hard about this, because I am very proud of my Swedish roots. So many of us in the United States are either second or third generation Americans, and our European roots are very important to us. My daughter, however, only thinks of herself as American. She does not obsess like I do on Old World traditions.

My maternal Great Grandmother and Great Grandfather both came to the United States from Sweden in the late 19th and early 20th century. They married, and began a family in the Swedish community of Montgomery County, Iowa. My grandmother grew up bi-lingual, speaking both Swedish and English. Growing up, I spent a lot of time with my maternal grandparents and my great grandmother from Sweden, but as most children, never appreciated the history and traditions I was exposed to at that time.

As an adult, I am fascinated by the traditions of Sweden. I am also fascinated by the history of Swedish food and how it has evolved in the United States. When my Grandmother Buckley passed away, I inherited some of her cookbooks. Most of them are community cookbooks from local factories and churches around Red Oak, Iowa. I love it that one of the recipe names from the "Union Carbide Employees' 20th Annual Cook Book, Red Oak Plant, 1968," is "Spaghetti Which George Harshaw Won't Eat". You can pick up so much about people and communities just by looking through titles in a cookbook!

However, reading through these cookbooks (as well as my own mother's yearning for some Swedish Rye Bread like her grandmother used to make), prompted me to try my hand at one of these old recipes. Although there were six recipes for rye bread in the "Union Carbide Employees 20th Annual Cook Book," I picked Helen's Swedish Rye Bread because it used caraway seeds, which my mom remembered from my great grandmothers bread.

Helen's Swedish Rye Bread
A
2 c. boiling water
B
1/4 c. quick oatmeal
1/3 c. brown sugar
1T. salt
1/4 c. fat
1/4 c. molasses
1 T. caraway seed
C
1 pckg. yeast
D
3 1/2 c. flour
E.
3 c. rye flour

Pour "A" over "B", cool to lukewarm. Add "C". Add 2 c. "D". Beat and add "E". Add 1 c. of "D". Let stand 10 min. Knead 10 min. Let rise until double in bulk. Knead again. Let rise until double. Make into 2 loaves. Let rise ad bake at 375 degrees, 40-50 minutes.

I failed miserably at my first attempt at this bread. Although the outside looked done, the inside was still not fully cooked. I put it back in the oven, but the result was extremely heavy thick bread. It tasted okay, but I think it will end up in the garbage.

Today I have already mixed up a new batch of this bread and have it rising. I will post tomorrow about how it turns out.

A New Year

Here it is, 2010, and I realize how very truant I have been in keeping up with this blog. Actually, so much has been happening with my family, this is the first time that I have felt like have an opportunity to sit down and write coherently. This fall I began coaching high school gymnastics for the first and last time. It was a very useful experience, but not altogether positive. Zachary, my 10 year old with EE, has continued his monthly infusions in Denver and has added many school activities to his repertoire of things he likes to do. Joshua, my son with an arachnoid cyst etc... has been doing so well in school that I have been called to see if the school could move him from active special education to consult. David has become significantly more active with music and his social life.

My decision to coach high school gymnastics was based on the fact that I have spent so much time and energy on my younger two children's health problems, that I needed to be involved with Michelle and what was important to her. The flaw in my reasoning was that Michelle really did not want to compete in high school gymnastics her senior year. She has done gymnastics since she was three years old, with a three year break beginning at the age of six. At the end of her Junior year, she was burned out and the head coach she adored had retired in June, moving to Wisconsin. I have to admit I pressured her to finish out her Senior year as I did not want her to look back and wish that she had participated in high school gymnastics all four years. She ended up doing very well, but her unhappiness permeated the experience and it was very bittersweet. For myself, the daily practices coupled with frequent gymnastics meets, left me with little time for myself or my household duties. Writing was completely left to the wayside.

Zachary's food allergies seem to have become more prominent over the past several months, even though he continues to go to Denver for an infusion of research medicine, once a month. He has missed more school in one semester than he is technically allowed all year. This has not stopped him from joining the Lego Robotics Team, Odyssy of the Mind and being elected to Student Council. He also starred as Santa Claus for the Namaqua School play, "Santa's Shopping Network" this year. This January we are going to go up on his dosage and see if that helps eliminate some of the pain he has been feeling.

I seem to always worry about Joshua socially and academically, I was so surprised to get the call from the special education department that he was doing so well. He has gone from being extremely behind in school, to passing all the standardized tests at grade level or above, with the exception of writing. This is a very positive thing to happen, but I worry that if the extra help is removed, will he be able to maintain his success? My gut feeling is to at least let him try by moving him to a "consult only" basis and watching him very closely.

My 15 year-old son, David is maturing like a caterpillar emerging from a cocoon. He has really found his niche in music. With the addition of the medication Vyvanse, he is able to focus in school and he now has an active interest in learning and cares about his success. This is such a relief as he has felt so lost in the past. He has developed new friendships and is active in his youth group at church. Can you feel the relief just sliding over me?

2009 has been filled with many poignant memories. The daily activities of an active family of six has left me filling like I have neglected many activities that are important to me as a person. This leads me to the most important goal I have for 2010, to make sure that every day includes some time for me to read,write, exercise and continue to nurture my interests and hobbies. I will try and record how all of it works out.

The best to all in 2010 and here is to a prosperous and healthy New Year and new decade,2010.