Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that my 18 year old daughter, who underwent hip dislocation surgery in June, would end up with osteomyelitis due to Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA). Two weeks after returning home from what we thought was a successful surgical intervention, we noticed pus coming out of the 12 inch scar on her hip. I looked at it and immediately felt anxiety and panic. After being admitted to Children's Hospital in Denver and being diagnosed with MRSA (after her scar was surgically opened, cleaned and cultured), it was discovered that MRSA was also in her lower spine, causing numbness and partial paralysis to her left leg.
Our family has been through the wringer with allergy and autoimmune related symptoms, but I did not believe I would have to watch a second child fight a life threatening illness. In my mind, everything we went through with Joshua when he was a baby, was our quota of stress and medically related trauma. I guess life does not work that way. The good news is that I am writing this after the worst is over and Michelle is continuing to improve every day.
Michelle spent two weeks in the hospital on Morphine, intravenous (IV) antibiotics, and neurological medication. She then came home to another week of IV antibiotics through a PICC line, weekly blood tests and doctor visits in Denver, Colorado (about 60 minutes away from where we live), three serious allergic reactions to antibiotics and finally relief after working with an immunologist. She is now stable and has gone to the university as planned, on the antibiotic Doxycylcine. She is on three different allergy medications,and receives weekly blood tests through the local medical center.
Believe it or not, many families face multiple children with medical emergencies more frequently than our family. I just want to give some friendly advice on what not to say to anyone in a family who happens to have more than one member experiencing medical difficulties.
"Your family really has a lot of problems, if it is not one child it is another," is not a sympathetic or helpful response.
"It seems like you guys are always sick!" is another unhelpful response.
I have had both friends and family members make insensitive comments similar to this. Although, I believe that the comment itself is meant to be sympathetic, truthfully, it hurts. I know that I get to the point where I am embarrassed by the health problems we face and I wonder if other parents going through similar situations feel the same way also. Then I realize that nobody has asked for this, it is what we have been given. Then I try to think of appropriate responses.
"Yes, our family is susceptible to allergies, you are lucky that you and your family have such good health."
A second response could be, "How fortunate that you and your family have not had to encounter health problems yet."
The fact is that in a life span of approximately 80 to 100 years, a majority of people will face some type of medical emergency or trauma to them-self or a family member. They, like myself, will probably appreciate kindness and understanding, not a judgment on their inability to prevent the unpreventable.
Many people were very supportive and helpful in our particular situation: my cousin picked up my 16 year old so that he could attend his great grandparents' 75th wedding anniversary; my parents called and sent balloons to Michelle and also took care of David at the reunion; my sister came out and stayed for a week to help the rest of my family; and the family we have in town filled in all the cracks with my other three children so they could go on with their daily lives, thus allowing my husband to continue working so that we could afford health care.
Unfortunately, bacterial infections like MRSA are becoming very common and prey upon the young, the old and people with compromised immune systems. It is very painful and difficult infection to recover from, no matter how strong and healthy the individual. This is one of those "risks" of surgeries that people now have to face and sadly, it is no longer a rare risk. The chances of coming across a person or family affected by this type of health problem is pretty high. Think carefully about what words you use to sympathize because what you say and do does make an impact. Thoughtful words and actions are like a balm in the dessert.
For information on MRSA:
http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/understanding-mrsa-methicillin-resistant-staphylococcus-aureus
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/mrsa/DS00735
Support Groups
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Methicillin-Resistant-Staphylococcus-Aureus/support-group
http://mrsasupportgroup.org/
http://www.mrsaresources.com/mrsa-support-groups/
